TRIGGER WARNING - Topics discussed: Miscarriage, C section & Birth pain with a happy rainbow baby ending.
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Before we get into my birth story, I'd love to share a little about our pregnancy journey. My husband and I got married in 2022 and started trying to build our family soon after. We found out we were pregnant at the end of July, with only a few days of knowing about this precious little one. I had a miscarriage. Going through this was something I truly struggled with, my heart was broken. I was hurting in so many ways, trying to continue on with work and life.
We stopped trying for a few months after that. I think we both needed a bit of time to heal. Then we woke up on January 1st 2023, 5 days before my period was due and I woke up feeling a little off. We didn't bother testing straight away, not thinking we would be pregnant. We finally tested and sure enough we were pregnant again. So many different thoughts ran through our minds. We were overjoyed, excited that our little family was expanding. But scared at the same time, Pregnancy after loss was a wild ride. I truly thought my first pregnancy experience was going to have a happier ending, but instead, I lost a baby and I have my beautiful rainbow girl.
During my pregnancy this mama struggled with hyperemsis, I was sick constantly during the first trimester. I felt nauseated all day long, I had mints on hand and would suck on them one after the other just to help ease my nausea so I wouldn't be sick yet again. I had to pull over on the side of the road so many times to be sick.
The anxiety I had going in to each appointment wondering if my little baby was okay. I was so scared that something was going to go wrong that I felt like I couldn't enjoy the first trimester and once we had entered that second trimester when we could feel her move was such a reassuring feeling!
The second trimester I had hoped the sickness and nausea would go like so many said that it probably would. Sadly it did not for me. But I got to find out I was having a daughter on my birthday. Feeling her kick was such a weird 'alien inside of you' kind of feeling at first, but then I found comfort in being able to feel her kick and move.
While I grew and Harlow grew, my anxiety around birth kept creeping up. I have always had a fear about birth as I knew you never know what your experience will be. I listened to countless podcasts around other women's birth story's and tried to feel reassured that our birth will be powerful and I know that I will get through whatever happens with my husband by my side.
We entered our third trimester and time just kept flying by. I was excited and anxious around birth and how having a new born would really be. We went to antenatal classes and met some other mums and Dad's to be. We prepared her room/things, had our baby shower and started to really prepare for that next stage. Little Harlow loved sitting transverse on me right up til I was due. I had an iron transfusion at around 36 weeks and things were tracking along.
We hit Harlows due date and I had already had a few weeks off work to relax, prepare, and do study of course. We waited patiently thinking any day now any day now. Wondering how we could help bring her along, we tried the tea and curb walking. I even had a sweep on her due date. But still Harlow simply wasn't ready to come.
Having a sweep was a weird, an uncomfortable experience. But after the sweep that was something that triggered that anxiety again. I started to bleed. My thoughts went a million miles a minute and I was worried for my little girl. My midwife reassured me that everything was okay and a couple days after our sweep that lovely mucus plug started coming away. I was like okay things are gunna be happening sooner or later. So I bounced on the yoga ball, danced to loud music and later that night, I started having contractions.
I managed Thursday night when my contractions started at home, having a shower here and there. Managing my pain and relaxing as best I could. I looked to my husband and said this is it babe, we will be meeting our little girl soon.
My hubby went to work Friday morning and I went out and bought Harlow an outfit, mumma some food all while having contractions and then went back home to retreat into my little safe space. That was the last bit of food I managed to stomach before finally meeting my daughter Saturday evening. My hubby was on stand by and ready to leave work any moment I needed him to. By Friday evening, the contractions had ramped up and was starting to become harder to push through and manage. I called my midwife crying, telling her that I'm struggling and couldn't manage much longer without support from some pain relief. I told her I didn't want to waste her time by going to the hospital at 10pm if I wasn't far along into labor.
We finally decided that I would at least get checked out Friday at 10pm, even if it was that we were going to end up being sent back home. My midwife let me know that I was 4cms and helped me settle in. She checked baby and saw that her heart rate was a bit funny and so they had me attached to a couple of monitors. One tracking my contractions and the other tracking her heart rate. I was feverish, my temp being around 38°c. They placed me on a drip to help boost my fluids as I hadn't been able to eat since that morning.
I settled in and had the gas when the contractions hit. Even letting my husband have a try. After a few hours of hearing other women give birth while we were just waiting for our turn, we were told she wasn't going to come tonight and to get some rest.
Saturday morning came and things ramped up yet again after my Waters broke. I was around 5 to 6cms during then and my body was telling me it's time to push. I ended up having more pain relief in the form of the epidural. After having that things calmed down and I rested while waiting to get further along. We finally got to 9cms, and I was thinking okay this is it. I really am going to have to push my daughter out. I had soo many drips as I still couldn't keep anything down. I threw up all during labor, it was so not a glamorous experience.
Getting to 9cms and then being told that your baby just simply wasn't going to come down the birth canal as she wouldn't tuck her head in was a bit surreal. I had thought but wait I'm like right there, what do you mean it's not going to happen. My husband's biggest fear during labor was something happening to me or to our daughter. My husband was outside when I was told that we needed to give birth via a cesarean. We were really lucky that our cesarean experience wasn't a rush down the hall and all concerned.
We went into theater and they got us all settled and ready. The doctors were so relaxed chatting about day to day life like setting another doctor up with someone. While I was on the operating table, I was sick yet again. I even scared the doctors when they were performing the incision, as another doctor was touching my drip and I yelped in pain from that while the other doctor was doing the incision.
I heard a loud and hearty scream as my daughter let me know that she had arrived safe and sound. My husband got to cut her umbilical cord and then she was placed on my chest. Finally she was here. We named our little girl Harlow after waiting until we had met her to name her.
Afterwards I was wheeled into recovery and had the best ice block in the world. Finally being able to eat, I was so exhausted and emotional that I just gave birth to my little girl. I did it. So I'm a c-section mumma, or a sunroof mumma as I like to call it!